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Phil’s Travels – Nicosia, Cyprus (08.25)

Phil’s Travels – Nicosia, Cyprus (08.25)

My wonderful wife and I left the UK resplendent in glorious sunshine. The feel-good factor was all pervading. The Lizzie Line was quick and direct, check-in was efficient and security speedy. Even the Ramsey crew were on form for breakfast. The only blemish was a necessary conference call at the gate, whilst boarding and ensconced in my window seat. It had to carry on without me as we took off into blue skies.

During the flight we were advised that someone onboard had a nut allergy and that the entire plane should not even think about the word nut, never mind attempt to eat any, thus rendering my bag of peanuts redundant as a foodie back-up on the five-hour flight. Why can’t such sufferers advise airlines earlier and then the airlines advise other passengers via email or text so we can board with the appropriate foods?

We landed in Larnaca on time and my wife enjoyed still more travel pleasure. Larnaca is still the only airport I know of that requires passengers to scan their passport on arrival and have a dodgy photo taken by the scanning machine, and only then go to see a person at passport control. Clumsy, confusing and time consuming. Anyway, my wonderful wife’s scanner refused to give her a photo. When she met her male passport controller, he said not to worry, “We program the machines to reject pretty ladies so that we passport controllers can spend more time with them.” She glowed from that flattery for days. Needless to say, my scanner worked beautifully.

Our hire was another Staircase (aka Skoda Scala), this time in Remembrance Blue. Decent car, easy to drive and spacious, but hopelessly under-powered at low revs.

Much of the first week was full of calls and the pool had to wait for another few days. Our first weekend coincided with Papou’s memorial and my crazy kids put their artistic skills to good work in the form of a flower made of blanched almonds and pomegranate seeds for the koliva centrepiece for sharing at Kykkos Monastery in Nicosia.

We took a number of long drives in the Staircase this summer. One trip was to Latchi (northwest) so the crazy kids could spend a few hours in a pool with their crazy cousins. It was a lovely afternoon of chatting, eating and pooling. The route there and back took us through Limassol, which was looking increasingly high-rise and Dubai-like.

I hit the beach only three times during our 5+ weeks away (the others made it much more frequently). The beaches visited were: Vyzakia (small, clean, clear waters, stony waterline and ample WCs); Kastella (very long, clean, only 2x portaloos for 100s of people and shallow water for miles out to sea); and Vryssi (big, busy, clean, surrounded by hotels, clear waters and no stones).

At the new Hilton, a key pool personality was missing. For the first time in over 10 years, Stick Insect was absent (broke her hip and was in hospital and we wish her a speedy recovery). We have not seen Moonwalker and Dolphin since the old Hilton closed. Tricoteuses and Hairless Wonder did show up. A new, short residency character was the Egyptologist (a loud chap, wearing a big game hat, mirrored sunglasses and sporting a magnificent Victorian-style moustache). During one week, our blue Staircase met its blue twin. The same car in the same colour. We tried to park next to it each time so they could chat and catchup whilst we pooled.

More seriously though, my darling daughter achieved the coup of the summer. She got fruits for fingertips. Each fingernail was painted a different fruit: watermelon, dragon fruit, orange, strawberry and kiwi (my favourite). How cool?

We enjoyed many lovely dinners, although the frequency of tavernas and kebabs became wearing. The alternatives in Nicosia are not so numerous. To give you an idea, as one of the few taverna alternatives, one night we went to Jamie’s Italian (that was as good as it got). The Nicosia culinary scene has become ever more restricted. Here below a quick critique of some of our eateries.

• Beba – good food, great ambiance, lousy (pretentious) service.
• Pyxida – good food, reasonable ambiance, grumpy service (better second visit). 
• Montparnasse – good food, good ambiance, moody service.
• Chrysaliniotissa – standard food, good ambiance, sloppy service.
• Oino Strata - food extra-mile good, ambiance good, service exceptional.
• Vino Cultura – good food, good ambiance, rare service with a smile.

On the economic front, real estate appears to be booming across the island. In Nicosia, lots of plots were in construction throughout the city, with what appeared to be a particular concentration nearby Yaya’s apartment. At least six new build projects within a few hundred metres (all residential). However, although developers are experts at throwing down concrete and erecting frames in no time, they seemed to be hopeless at completing the works. The old Hilton site was still a dust bowl and the site right behind Yaya’s has been an unfinished concrete frame for more than two years now. No surprise as no more than four people on site at any one time. One day only one chap was on site and he was throwing builder’s stuff off the seventh floor to the ground far below. Health and safety? Anyway, the whistling netting shrouding the site is likely to continue whistling for many more months if not years to come.

The 15^th of August is a big day and not just for Catholics. The Orthodox also make a big deal of the Assumption of the Blessed Mary (here in the UK it is just another day). It is also a big day for other, non-religious reasons – VJ Day, India Independence Day and Cyprus’ true Independence Day. What did we do on this big day? We went to a beach, which was a big day for me (only three beach visits in more than five weeks).

During the 15^th of August period, Nicosia was deserted. Like Racoon City at the end of Resident Evil and I was Milla Jovovich emerging into a new world. A world of few people, no cars and tranquillity on the streets. It was wonderful, for a few days anyway.

Knowing I was going to be doing some digital nomading, my wonderful wife insisted on being a second driver. Which worked well. One day, under some kind of neighbourly- pressure, she parked the Staircase in a rush of speed and gave the passenger side a good scraping on the pillar by our parking spot. Remembrance Blue became Gouged White!

During our month or so on-island, my wonderful wife and I took two days off. Just the two of us. No calls and no emails. We took the Staircase to the Paphos region and visited two wineries on the first day, after a sizeable bust up over map reading and trying to find a venue for lunch. In the end, we settled for an unsettling place on the outskirts of Paphos. The place was a time-warp and the staff were odd but the salads were good.

After the wineries (Vasilikon and Fikardos), we drove through the scorched mountains to Vouni. The countryside had burnt to a blackened crisp, houses were gutted, cars fried and agriculture ruined. The only items to survive such vast wild-fires were the hearts of villages and most of the vineyards (the wineries seemingly practicing better farming techniques than others).

Our three-key hotel was again a true pleasure. We tried another room and we had the best service of our entire stay on-island. For some reason, especially in Nicosia, service no longer comes with a smile. Or at least rarely. In Vouni, the staff were amazing.

On our second day we continued our drive through the burnt valleys and peaks and visited three wineries: Vlassides (big, coldly modern and commercial); Erimoudes (garage under the house of its 88-year old wine maker); Hadjiantonas (closed following acquisition by Mr Punin, who wants to make world class Pinot Noir on the hot southern lower slopes of the Troodos – I will watch with keen interest).

We came back to Yaya’s with 20 full bottles and some contributions to my passion thanks to the wonderful people of Sri Lanka (who even saved old folk from the fires around Vouni). Good luck with your own hotel project back home.

My last week was disrupted with a new project (very exciting deal) and a request to cut my time short and to fly home via Dubai (see next blog). So off I went and left my wonderful wife and darling daughter (and her amazing fingernails) to return home directly without me.