12/08/2024Phil’s Travels – Cyprus (07.24)
Phil’s Travels – Cyprus (07.24)
It pains me to have to report, yet again, a negative situation with that old bugbear of ours, British Airways. As a Brit and living in Blighty, I, and I suspect we all, want our national flag carrier to be world class. Sadly, not to be. Our outbound was cancelled with less than 13 hours’ notice (at 18.00 on Saturday). We did not even try to speak to a BA person. Last time in New York, it took over an hour to get rebooked and even then they did not acknowledge our claim for compensation fully. So, this time we dove into BA.com and hoped the net would be our friend and not kill our claim. We managed to rebook for 18.35 the next day (some 11 hours later than originally planned) and amazingly our claim was settled in full (well done BA.com).
With a new-found Sunday morning and early afternoon at home, we had a lie in and popped out for a casual coffee and perusal of The Sunday Times. I even got to watch the start of the British GP. It was such an exciting race, I watched the whole thing on my phone on the Lizzie Line, standing in the eternal check-in queue and witnessed the amazing finish just before opening my bag for security.
Heathrow was packed. No wonder. The weather in the UK in June was awful and I am sure a good chunk of Britain was keen to find some warmth and sunshine. We left London with November weather (15C and rain, which made for an exciting GP race) and landed in Cyprus under a heat wave (40C on our day of arrival).
Our outbound (yes, the saga was not over) was delayed nearly three hours due to a contiguous stream of events: bad weather over France, the luggage-loading equipment failed, a poor chap fell sick and had to be escorted (very glacially) off the plane, a lady passenger decided that the delay was too long and simply walked off, and we missed take-off slot after take-off slot. Each unscheduled disembarkation resulted in the crew having to check the overhead cabin bins several rows up and down from the newly vacated seats, adding further delay. We landed in Cyprus after 03.00 and made it to bed in time for a couple of hours sleep before a busy Monday full of meetings.
Mission 1, Day 1, before pretty much anything else happens, was the ubiquitous visit to Zorbas Bakery, for coffee and morish Cypriot snack stocks. Our local Zorbas sits on a street corner and the whole area is often jammed with parked patrons’ cars. In an effort to keep the corner itself clear, some bright local authority spark had installed some red bollards. I thought how clever. And how was that car parked on the pavement going to get out given every other bit of kerb was covered in vehicles? How? He simply drove over the top of the red bollards. The bollards were bendy! Over the ensuing weeks, I saw this repeated over and over, including by the Zorbas delivery trucks. By the end of our month in Cyprus, those bollards were looking very worse for wear and coming loose. Good idea, poor execution. Obviously, in order to keep a Cypriot on the straight and narrow, you need great big, immovable, concrete red bollards, not flimsy red balloons.
In hindsight, July was not a great month for a holiday. Many clients, existing, new and temporary, wanted to talk and receive things, and so I am told the weather was great most of the time (not that I saw much of it for the first 10 days or so and barely even a glimpse of a pool, never mind a wet toe). I am also told that one afternoon a biblical rainstorm hit Nicosia, before recovering to sun and 35C again within 10 minutes. I must have blinked for that one.
I did enjoy some of the wonderful weather later in the ‘holiday’. We spent a few days in a Luxury Villa with extended family near Sirena Bay Beach. The Luxury Villa was not so luxury, but Sirena was a gorgeous, sandy cove. Soft sand, super clear waters and a fancy beach club (very noisy on a Saturday afternoon when live music blasted across the ocean). One evening we went to a local taverna for dinner and met a very talented table clearer. He ended up carrying all the plates and dishes for a table of 12, in one go!
It was a month of monumental sports. Football’s Euros and the world’s Olympics. In the Euros, France lost with a whimper after a wimpy display as hosts from start to dismal end. England though made it to the final, only to be outclassed by a very classy Spain (who went on to win the Olympics too). After a faulty start (football violence, ‘not an œuf’ food in the athletes’ canteen and inflated Metro fares), the world’s greatest show was a wonder to fill our TV sets for two weeks. Felicitation Paris!
Back on the ground, unfortunately, we had some exposure to the local banking system. They are painfully slow and charge for everything. You pay to transfer money, you pay to deposit money, you pay to withdraw money with a cashier, you pay to open or close an account, and you pay for them to hold your money. I am sure, if they could, they would ask you to pay for the air you breath within the branch (and maybe even at the ATM outside). So, what does a client receive in return? A pathetic rate of interest, barely above 0%. Needless to say, Cyprus banks are very profitable and a protected species.
Although I never tested positive three times, I am sure I had some kind of C19 during the two weeks prior to our departure to Cyprus (no one else at home felt unwell). Whatever it was, it cleared up nicely in 35C+, only to be replaced by my annual Nicosia Rash. Still, at least I was in better shape than my lovely bro-in-law who had to have a tooth pulled during our stay.
On the motoring front, Old Faithful (our 28-year old Rover 214) was ready and willing to carry us around Nicosia and proving to be the angel it had always been. I nearly did it an injustice by very nearly back-ending a car near home. My wonderful wife was with me and persisted in passenger-seat driving me for the next 24 hours. Or at least until I lost it close to McDonalds. Payback was swift though. She bashed Old Faithful into the post by our parking spot at home. Sweet justice and even sweeter peace on the road thereafter. Not that my wonderful wife’s gouging of Old Faithful’s left side was in any way related to what happened next, but interesting to note that post bash Old Faithful developed a major plumbing issue (like any old chap) and started to falter.
Old Faithful was given a temporary plumbing fix by a lovely old school mechanic in a rundown garage in Old Town Nicosia (behind the old mosque) and the wise man advised we should refill it with water whenever possible and only drive short distances. We abided by his sage advice and Old Faithful honoured his side of the bargain until a second mechanic meddled with our delicate harmony. After checking it over and applying another fix (needed or not, no one will ever know), he told my wonderful wife it was ok to drive. She immediately drove into town when it started to shudder and shake and lose power. Old Faithful made it home, just, and when I checked the water was empty. I refilled it and within hours, even stationary, the poor thing was empty again. Sadly, Old Faithful was finally kaput. A low-loader came to take him away. My wife was the only mourner in attendance (I was on calls, again) and ensured memorabilia was saved (Rover badges and the number plates).
Without Old Faithful, we had to hire a car. It was a butt ugly, nasty coloured, Skoda Skala (I thought such colours were only available in Hollywood, think Mr White’s car in Breaking Bad). The Skala had a small engine with turbo boost, the first two gears were very jerky, at low revs it had no torque and the turbo lag was very disturbing. Still, it was way faster than Old Faithful and our new Rocketship took us on many journeys. We visited other beach coves on day trips, we had business meetings in Limassol and explored the mountains (including Kykkos Monastery, Throni and some of the island’s fabulous wine makers, including the award-winning Dafermou).
For the first time in over 30 years, we did not go to Paphos. We did not stay at our favourite hotel for the 23rd consecutive year. And we did not collect many empties from its amazing staff. Maybe next year.
Our journey back to London began with a slow ride on the Kapnos Airport Shuttle from Nicosia to Larnaca, delayed by a multi-car pile-up on the highway. Even after the rubber necking, Cypriot drivers were still tailgating to within just a few metres all the way to the coast. We sat on the last row of our BA aircraft, which had no windows (first time I have seen that, even easyJet has windows on its last row) and no space for our hand luggage (full of crew bags). Why do we keep flying this miserable airline? We landed on time and flew through Heathrow and were home before 22.00.
During our month away, many, many things happened. Political wrap: Trump shot, Biden out, Macron lost, the UK rioted and united, Mrs Zelensky bought a Bugatti (AI generated fake news) and her husband invaded Russia (true). Elsewhere: Malpensa Airport was renamed Berlusconi Airport (aka Bunga Bunga Airport), Paris shone and Cav won his 35th. What a wonderful world we live in, full of surprises and folly. Enjoy the summer folks.
Media Centre